Tag Archives: lifestyle

What to Do When You Want to Disappear

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There are moments when life feels so overwhelming that the thought “I want to disappear” seems like the only escape. Whether it’s the crushing weight of daily obligations, relationship strain, or simply the grind of emotional exhaustion, this desire isn’t uncommon—and it doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. Wanting to vanish is often your mind’s way of signaling that something deeper needs attention. According to mental health counselor Rachel Gersten, this feeling can stem from shame, burnout, or emotional overload. Instead of suppressing the urge, try to observe it. What’s happening when the thought arises? Are you exhausted at work? Feeling isolated? Naming the emotion—like “shame wants me to disappear”—can shift your relationship with it. Techniques like narrative therapy, opposite action (from DBT), mindfulness, and simply taking a break can help disrupt the pattern. If the feeling becomes persistent, it’s time to seek support.

Key Facts:

  • The urge to disappear often signals emotional distress, not necessarily depression or suicidality.
  • Shame is a common underlying emotion, prompting withdrawal.
  • “Opposite action” encourages doing the reverse of what the emotion suggests—such as reaching out instead of isolating.
  • Narrative therapy helps reframe thoughts by externalizing them (e.g., “fear wants me to disappear”).
  • Even small breaks can restore clarity—nature, rest, or a microbreak from work can make a big difference.
  • If the thought is recurring, speaking to a therapist can help identify root causes and next steps.

Feeling like you want to disappear isn’t something to fear—it’s something to explore. It’s a sign that your emotional dashboard is lighting up, urging you to slow down, check in, and reconnect with what you need. Whether that’s support, space, or change, you deserve the tools and care to find your way through. You’re not alone—and you don’t have to disappear to find peace.

Reference:https://www.verywellmind.com/what-to-do-when-you-want-to-disappear-5204214?hid=9da7c9b8a1c14056d0b1170abc613280ce8d3716&did=17807380-20250526&utm_source=verywellmind&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=verywellmind_newsletter&utm_content=052625&lctg=9da7c9b8a1c14056d0b1170abc613280ce8d3716&lr_input=c24f0f82324dd205a457b795567a3fcc0905f5476a12d769963bdac7cec1fc7a

Risk and Protective Factors

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Preventing youth violence begins with understanding that no single cause leads a young person to commit or experience violence. Instead, it’s a mix of individual, relationship, community, and societal influences. Risk factors—such as exposure to violence at home, poor academic performance, or associating with delinquent peers—can increase the chances of violent behavior. On the other hand, protective factors—like strong family connections, high academic achievement, or community involvement—can reduce those risks. Identifying and addressing these layers can empower parents, educators, and community leaders to intervene early and build supportive environments for youth. By increasing what protects and reducing what harms, we create safer, healthier communities for everyone.

Key Facts

  • Youth violence is shaped by a combination of factors, not a single cause.
  • Risk factors include poor behavioral control, substance use, and exposure to family or community violence.
  • Protective factors include strong family bonds, high academic achievement, and supportive school environments.
  • Prevention efforts must address multiple layers: individual, relationship, community, and societal.

Preventing youth violence isn’t just about stopping harm—it’s about building hope. Every effort we make to strengthen protective factors and reduce risks helps shape a generation of safer, more connected, and empowered young people. Together, we can move forward.

Reference:https://www.cdc.gov/youth-violence/risk-factors/index.html

Yes, Stress Really Can Make You Sick —Here’s Why

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Can Stress Really Make Us Sick? Understanding the Mind-Body Connection

Yes—chronic stress can absolutely impact your physical health. In fact, 60% to 80% of primary care visits involve stress-related concerns. Health psychologists like Dr. Julia Kogan and functional medicine specialists like Dr. Patricia Mills explain that prolonged stress elevates cortisol levels, which can weaken the immune system, trigger inflammation, and exacerbate chronic conditions like arthritis, IBS, and fibromyalgia. Chronic stress also decreases white blood cells, disrupts sleep, and interferes with hormone production—leading to issues with menstruation, fertility, and even testosterone levels in men. Symptoms of stress-related illness include headaches, high blood pressure, lowered immunity, sleep disturbances, and reduced sex drive.

Key Facts:

  • Chronic stress weakens the immune system and increases inflammation.
  • Cortisol overproduction impacts hormone balance and immunity.
  • Stress can worsen chronic conditions like arthritis, IBS, and fibromyalgia.
  • Symptoms of stress-related illness include fatigue, poor sleep, tension, and frequent infections.
  • Activities like meditation, breathwork, yoga, walking, dancing, and aromatherapy can naturally increase oxytocin, the relaxation hormone.

While we can’t eliminate all stress from our lives, we can choose how we respond to it. Tuning into our bodies and incorporating daily oxytocin-boosting habits like mindful breathing, gentle movement, and social connection can help us build resilience. If stress is taking a toll on your body, it’s not just in your head—and it’s worth taking seriously. Prioritize your well-being and reach out to a healthcare provider if stress is affecting your quality of life.

Reference: https://www.verywellmind.com/yes-stress-can-really-make-you-sick-this-is-why-8350874

The Beauty of Cross-Cultural Friendships: Expanding Horizons & Building Bridges

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Friendships that bridge different cultures, languages, and backgrounds offer a unique and enriching perspective on the world. When we connect with people who have different life experiences, we expand our understanding, challenge stereotypes, and develop greater empathy. Learning about another person’s traditions, beliefs, and customs firsthand allows us to see the world from a more inclusive and informed perspective. These friendships break down barriers and foster global awareness, making us more adaptable and open-minded individuals.

Cross-cultural and bilingual friendships also provide tangible cognitive and linguistic benefits. Engaging with a friend who speaks another language or comes from a different background naturally enhances our communication skills and deepens our cultural intelligence. Exposure to different languages, even informally, can improve memory, problem-solving skills, and creativity. Additionally, bilingual friendships can encourage us to learn a new language, making us more effective communicators and strengthening connections across diverse communities.

Beyond personal growth, bicultural and multilingual friendships create stronger, more inclusive communities. These friendships promote cross-cultural appreciation and foster an environment of mutual respect and understanding. In an increasingly interconnected world, the ability to navigate cultural differences with empathy and curiosity is invaluable. By embracing friendships that span cultural and linguistic boundaries, we build bridges instead of walls, fostering a world that thrives on diversity, connection, and shared humanity.

Jarrelle ( 杰遨 ）Jieao

Vision Loss, Blindness, and Smoking

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Smoking harms your eyes just as much as it harms the rest of your body, increasing your risk of serious eye conditions that can lead to vision loss or blindness. Two major threats to your eyesight are macular degeneration and cataracts. Macular degeneration, or age-related macular degeneration (AMD), affects central vision, which is essential for tasks like reading, recognizing faces, and driving. AMD starts in its dry form but can progress to the wet form, causing rapid vision loss if untreated. Cataracts cause blurry vision that worsens over time, and without surgery, they can result in severe vision impairment. The best way to protect your eyes from smoking-related damage is to quit or never start smoking.

Symptoms of Eye Diseases Related to Smoking

Symptoms of AMD may include:

  • Blurred vision or a blurry spot in your central vision
  • The need for more light to read or do other tasks
  • Straight lines that look wavy
  • Trouble recognizing faces

How Does Smoking Affect Your Eyes?

Smoking causes changes in the eyes that may result in vision loss. If you smoke:

  • You are twice as likely to develop AMD compared with a people who do not smoke.2,8
  • You are two to three times more likely to develop cataracts compared with a people who do not smoke.

Smoking not only harms your overall health but also puts your vision at serious risk, leading to conditions like macular degeneration and cataracts. By choosing to quit smoking, you can protect your eyes and your health, ensuring a clearer, brighter future. Take control of your well-being today—embrace a healthier, more mindful lifestyle, and make the choice to live tobacco-free. Your body, mind, and eyes will thank you.

**By prioritizing the health and safety of its young residents, Minnesota is investing in a brighter, healthier future for all.**

Reference: https://www.cdc.gov/tobacco/campaign/tips/diseases/vision-loss-blindness.html

How to Know If You Are in a Healthy Relationship

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Relationships are rarely flawless; they’re a blend of both healthy and unhealthy elements. Yet, while we often discuss the warning signs of unhealthy relationships, we tend to overlook what defines a healthy one. Healthy relationships thrive on respect, trust, honest communication, and mutual support. Shifting our focus to these positive aspects helps us cultivate stronger, more meaningful connections.

To evaluate the health of your relationship, consider asking yourself questions like these:

  • Do you have trust in one another?
  • Do you respect each other?
  • Do you support each other’s interests and efforts?
  • Are you honest and open with each other?
  • Are you able to maintain your individual identity?
  • Do you talk about your feelings, hopes, fears, and dreams?
  • Do you feel and express fondness and affection?
  • Is there equality and fairness in your relationship?

Characteristics of Healthy Relationships

  • Trust
    Trust forms the foundation of any healthy relationship, built through mutual respect, dependability, and honest interactions over time.
  • Openness and Self-Disclosure
    Sharing thoughts, feelings, and experiences fosters connection and strengthens trust, while also respecting each other’s boundaries.
  • Healthy Boundaries
    Boundaries protect individuality and ensure mutual respect by defining acceptable behaviors and maintaining personal space and needs.
  • Mutual Respect
    Healthy relationships thrive on respect, shown through active listening, understanding, and supporting each other’s goals and individuality.
  • Love and Affection
    Genuine love evolves from passion to deep affection and trust, with each partner finding contentment in their shared emotional and physical connection.
  • Good Communication
    Open, respectful communication allows couples to resolve conflicts constructively and strengthen their bond.
  • Give-and-Take
    Reciprocity in relationships means giving and receiving support freely, balancing needs while nurturing each other.

Building a healthy relationship requires a balance of trust, respect, open communication, and mutual support. By fostering openness, setting healthy boundaries, and embracing love and affection, partners can create a nurturing connection that grows over time. Effective communication and a natural give-and-take ensure that both individuals feel valued and supported, even through challenges. While no relationship is perfect, focusing on these key elements can help strengthen your bond and pave the way for a fulfilling and lasting partnership.

Reference: https://www.verywellmind.com/all-about-healthy-relationship-4774802

Narratives of Healing: How Our Elders Guide Us Beyond Borders

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As a Black Buddhist who grew up studying Buddhism, classical Chinese music, and the art of Japanese Bonsai, I’ve often reflected on what it means to embrace traditions that are not rooted in my ancestry. At first, I felt like an outsider, but as I listened to the stories of my elders, I began to see that expression isn’t confined to bloodlines or geography. These stories with struggle, resilience, and love—are more than personal memories; they are bridges. They connect us to our roots, to our shared humanity, and to a deeper understanding of who we are. Listening to our elders allows us to step beyond limits, and into the universal truths that bind us all.

Our elders carry within them the echoes of countless generations, each story a thread in the fabric of our collective being. When I sat with my grandparents and listened to their stories of living in the south, the KKK, the fight for freedom, perseverance, and triumph, I realized these narratives were not just about them—they were about me, too. Their resilience became a lens through which I could make sense of my bicultural journey, blending my own me-ness with diverse philosophies and arts. The wisdom of our elders reminds us that culture is not a static inheritance but a living and breathing dialogue. By honoring their experiences, we create space for healing and understanding, for ourselves and for the communities we touch.

In Buddhism, we often speak of transcending the conventional world, but this does not mean abandoning it—it means transforming it. The stories of our elders are vehicles for that transformation. They teach us compassion, resilience, and interconnectedness, serving as a guide for navigating life’s complexities. When we take the time to listen deeply, we honor their sacrifices and create a legacy of healing for future generations. Their wisdom invites us to bridge divides, to embrace diversity, and to build communities rooted in love and understanding. In this way, the stories of the past become seeds of a more harmonious future.

Jarrelle ( Jie ao ) Barton

Can You Have a Delayed Reaction to Grief?

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Grief typically unfolds through five stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. While it begins with denial and ends with acceptance, the journey is rarely linear. According to San Francisco therapist Dr. Avigail Lev, individuals often move back and forth between stages—shifting from anger to bargaining, returning to depression, and so on. These stages provide a framework for processing loss, confronting emotions, and moving toward healing. However, in delayed grief, denial persists, leaving unresolved feelings that can complicate the path to recovery.

“In delayed grieving, the denial stage lasts longer, meaning the person remains in denial for a more extended period.” — Dr. Avigail Lev

Signs and Symptoms of Delayed Grief

Delayed grief varies from person to person, with symptoms that can manifest both emotionally and physically. Signs of delayed grief on an emotional level include:

  • A sense of numbness or detachment
  • Intense emotional reactions in response to things that remind you of the loss
  • Feelings of persistent sadness
  • Intrusive thoughts or memories about your loved one
  • Problem enjoying things that used to bring you pleasure
  • Changes in how you feel about yourself, your purpose, or your identity
  • Feelings of guilt or regret

Physical symptoms of delayed grief can include:

  • Changes in sleep, appetite, or body weight
  • Feeling tired or unmotivated
  • Physical symptoms such as headaches, stomach aches, muscle tension, frequent illness, and digestive issues

Self-Care Practices to Support the Grieving Process

If you’re dealing with delayed grief, there are strategies to help you reconnect with your emotions and process them more deeply. Consider trying the following techniques:

  • Journaling: Expressive writing can be a therapeutic way to work through the difficult emotions you are feeling. Consider writing a letter to your loved one or write down your favorite memories of that person.
  • Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness is all about centering your attention on the here and now. It can be a way to connect with what you are feeling and what these feelings mean. Research suggests it can help bereaved people improve emotional regulation and executive function.
  • Stick to a routine: Keeping a regular routine is important when you are dealing with stressful experiences. It can help you maintain a sense of consistency and normalcy, which may help you feel more in control even when things seem hectic or tumultuous.
  • Learn about grief: Spend some time learning about what the normal grieving process looks like, including the stages of grief that people typically experience. It can be comforting to know that what you are experiencing is normal and expected.
  • Honor your loved one: Find meaningful ways to honor the memory of the person you have lost. For example, you might create a memorial or participate in rituals to honor their life.

Healing from grief, especially delayed grief, takes time and patience, but it’s important to know that support and effective treatment options are available. Strategies like grief counseling, cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR), and expressive arts therapy can help you process your emotions, reconnect with your feelings, and navigate your journey toward acceptance. Whether through talking, mindfulness, creative expression, or structured therapeutic approaches, these options provide valuable tools to address your grief and move forward with greater clarity and resilience.

Reference: https://www.verywellmind.com/can-you-have-a-delayed-reaction-to-grief-8425426

School work identified as key stressor for AAPI youth

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Mental health challenges among AANHPI (Asian American, Native Hawaiian, and Pacific Islander) youth have often been overlooked due to a lack of research and attention to their unique struggles. A recent study by The Asian American Foundation (TAAF), titled “Beyond the Surface: Understanding Mental Health Among Asian American, Native Hawaiian, and Pacific Islander Youth,” sheds light on this critical issue. The study reveals that academic pressure is one of the most significant stressors for AANHPI youth, driven by cultural expectations linking success in school to upward mobility and respect. This stress is further amplified by the “model minority” stereotype, which imposes unrealistic standards of excellence while dismissing emotional vulnerability. By addressing these unique challenges, the study offers insights into solutions for a group often misunderstood and underserved in mental health discussions.

“The biggest stressor on mental health that youth reported was actually pressure to succeed, both self-imposed and from families,” Dr. Charissa Cheah, lead researcher

Key Facts

Exacerbation by the COVID-19 Pandemic:

  • Heightened mental health struggles during the pandemic.
  • Complicated identity development due to the rise in anti-Asian hate.

Cultural Challenges:

  • Difficulty navigating cultural heritage in a climate of racism.

Stressors:

  • Discrimination and its impact on mental health.
  • Academic pressures contributing to a “perfect storm” of stress.

Isolation and Anxiety:

  • Increased feelings of loneliness and worry among AANHPI youth.

Alarming Statistics:

  • Suicide is the leading cause of death for young AANHPI individuals, per CDC data.
  • One in three AANHPI youth has considered or attempted suicide.

Addressing the mental health challenges faced by AANHPI youth requires urgent attention and action. The compounded pressures of academic expectations, cultural identity struggles, and discrimination, particularly during the COVID-19 pandemic, have created a crisis that cannot be ignored. With one in three AANHPI youth considering or attempting suicide, these alarming statistics serve as a stark reminder of the need for culturally responsive mental health resources and support systems. By acknowledging and addressing these unique challenges, we can work towards creating a more inclusive and understanding environment where AANHPI youth feel seen, supported, and empowered to thrive.


面对压力时，要学会呼吸放松。
Learn to breathe and relax when facing stress.

Reference: https://asamnews.com/2024/12/27/beyond-the-surface-of-aanhpi-youth-mental-health-research/?fbclid=IwZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAR0Oe5d1oc80z-JadHPJuCvh3k2LdlTzZeJHW6kUaPH5VFXwjnpg9aXnmVU_aem_aKVwcfNMD6Tnep0Xa9lLtA

Harmony Between Worlds: A Black Buddhist Artist’s Journey

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Living as a Black Buddhist artist immersed in a bicultural experience is a profound act of self-discovery. My heritage as a Black individual expresses resilience, creativity, and community, while my Buddhist practice offers a framework for mindfulness, compassion, and balance. These two identities do not simply coexist—they enrich and inform each other, creating a unique lens through which I experience this world. Through the teachings of lord Buddha, I’ve come to understand my cultural roots not as a separate identity but as a path in which I cultivate dharma..

As an artist, the bicultural experience manifests in the stories I tell and the mediums I use to tell them. My work is a reflection of both celebration and introspection, merging the rhythms of my heritage with the contemplative silence of my Buddhist practice. Whether through the meditative pluck of the Guzheng or the quiet resilience embedded in my poems, I strive to create art that speaks to the shared humanity between cultures. This process has taught me that self-cultivation is not about abandoning one identity to embrace another but about finding harmony in the tension, allowing each aspect of myself to bloom.

Self-cultivation within this bicultural space is an ongoing practice of loving-kindness toward myself and others. It is about embracing the complexities of my identity without judgment, cultivating wisdom through the lessons of my ancestors, and staying grounded in the present moment. As a Black Buddhist, I see my journey not only as personal liberation but also as a call to inspire others in my community to explore the depths of their identities with courage and compassion. Together, we can honor the beauty of our roots while forging new paths of creativity and cultivation.

Jarrelle (杰遨) Jieao